04 August 2009

It's a SAAB Story

I've been told I can really lay on the melodrama: . . .

The best car in anyone's world is always a piece of shit. Scrap metal to most people, but heaven to me. I called mine MLE. She got through my senior year, two summers, 5+ plays, and my little brother. She was my cousin's first car, my uncle's car, then my parents' (technically). So, because of this technicality, she's being traded against my will. This is her public tribute.

MLE has dysfunctional locks. They're supposed to be automatic, but they only worked in good weather when you're alone. If, by chance, you find yourself in the middle of a torrential downpour with three passengers, the locks won't work.

The window controls were backwards. You had to push 'down' to make the windows go up, and push 'up' to make the windows go down. Luckily, the sunroof did not have this problem.

The CD player never worked. We found that the latch that accepts CDs was broken and didn't bother to fix it. The tape deck decided to go late last summer, which eliminated the option of listening to an iPod while driving. So the driver and passangers were stuck with the radio if they so choose. And don't get me started on the equalizer --- I don't even know what it does.

MLE did not have A/C, but she could roll on the heat like nobody's business. But her defogger didn't work the greatest, so it took ten minutes for the windows to clear. By that time, I was already pulling into the school parking lot.

I just learned her airbags don't work either.

MLE had the courtesy to break down with my Dad driving at noontime. The transmission failed last winter. Her next big breakdown occured while I was driving on the highway this summer. I just got her home, but the damage was already done. She's so heavily corroded on the inside, that it's about time we scrap her. I'm sure she can last a little more, but the 'rents don't want to risk it. They don't trust her.

She had it long coming, but she'll always be my first car.

Farewell, MLE. My SAAB Story. The Best Car in the World. I'll hold you in fond memories.

1991 SAAB 9000 CD Turbo
The Best Car in the World


  1. Nice tribute! Enjoyable history of a resurrected Saab from your cousin.

    The Dad side of the "Rents."

  2. "The best car in anyone's world is always a piece of shit. Scrap metal to most people, but heaven to me. I called mine MLE."

    I laughed so hard when I read your "MLE"


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